The Psychology of Hugs
I visit the church and surrender myself to the atmospheric tranquility, hoping to feel the divine presence that makes people raise their hands, cry happy tears, and go all warm and fuzzy. I listen to Urdu ghazals and drown myself in the high-pitched voice of the Ustad, the orchestra, and the chorus, all in unison, creating a pathway to the prophet. Even those heart-wrenching lyrics couldn’t bring solace to my ruptured soul. I turn to nature. Flowers, sunsets, butterflies, and green fields. I look above and yearn, hoping for the vast sky and the wandering clouds to answer my prayers.
The last time I found God was in her embrace, and now she isn’t here, and nothing ever comes close to that feeling.
I read somewhere that hugging relaxes your nerves, makes you less anxious, keeps you happy and empowered, has anti-aging effects, and acts as a pain reliever. When you hug the person you love, Oxytocin, flirtatiously called the ‘Love Hormone’, releases in your brain, thereby shielding you from the stressors of everyday life. Walking, petting a dog, just hanging out with friends and laughing your hearts out, doing a random act of kindness, cooking, listening to songs, cuddling, and having sex are some of the natural ways to boost the secretion of this cupid juice. Basically, it makes you feel that life is worth living in spite of the Sisyphean torture we face.
When she hugged me for the first time, I felt a calm catharsis, an unspeakable liberation, and the voices from heaven whispering, “It’s okay. You can breathe. It’s all over.” My whole life was unclenched from the choking grip I had on myself. I wasn’t functioning in panic mode anymore. Hugs literally transformed my life. I finally understood how optimists always have something to look forward to. My face always displayed signs of fulfillment and a warm smile. I used to believe that the light at the end of the tunnel was nothing but another train approaching me. After watching her giggle, a gleam flashed on my existence, shattering all ideas of pessimism.
Hugging is the physical equivalent of meditation. It’s when skins come together and find a common homeland. The bodies merge and cure the weariness of being. Throughout the day, we are constantly ‘doing’ stuff. Only when hugging do we let go of all the humdrum of life, pause for a few seconds, and ‘be’ with the other person. An intimate moment cherishing the stillness of the universe.
It’s been said that an ideal hug should last for 20 seconds. My touch-starved ass would have a meltdown if someone held me for that long.
